What If's Are Too Many
by Kitten-the-Shadow-Writer
Summary: It was odd, for her entire life she was a fiercely loyal kunoichi of the leaf, but now, after five days of meditation and realization, she understood, she understood everything she should have seen from the beginning. They were just using her.
1. Introduction

"Tell me Uchiha-san, have you ever felt so trapped, so cornered that you cannot breathe?"

He wasn't sure how to respond, he wasn't sure why the kunoichi was talking to him in the first place, after all, she was his prisoner. "Aa." He certainly didn't know why he responded, why the simple monosyllable slid past his lips into a verbal agreement that he knew she would understand. He continued to sit cross legged at the other side of the table she was chained to, her sitting on the opposite side, as if this was just an everyday, pleasant meeting. He watched as her emerald eyes danced in the light of the fire next to them, a fire he had made to keep her safe, after all she was needed. The lighting bouncing off of her pink locks, allowing it to be obvious her hair was pink but yet in other places where the light didn't reach it almost looked like a soft purple, then her head shifted, she had tilted it and her hair fell to the side, some of it into her face.

"Then you understand, also, what it feels like to be free, to be able to do your own thing, correct?"

Did he? Did he really understand that freedom? Yes... he had known it once, he understood what it felt like to be happy. He was going to simply ignore her, the best plan of action, after all, she was his prisoner, should he not be the one asking the questions and her answering them? But the word slid from his mouth with ease, it felt as if they had known each other for a lifetime, he couldn't just ignore her, he couldn't just shrug off her words, "Yes." The soft smile that showed on her face was almost amazing, she had smiled towards him; she had smiled such a gentle smile, such a truthful smile that he was honestly winded by it. She took his breath away.

"Then you know how I feel right now. Despite being chained to a stone table, despite being kept in a cold cell... I feel free. Lighter than I have in many years, lighter than I have since I can remember." He listened to her release a soft breath of air, the sigh almost wistful, as if she was about to lose something that she enjoyed. He couldn't fathom why, but as he studied her face, watched her pale complexion in the moonlight, had a sinking feeling he knew what she was about to say, he had a sinking feeling he wasn't going to like it very much. "I know what ails you, Uchiha-san, I can cure both your eyes and your illness."

He didn't know how she knew about his illness, he hid it well, he never let anyone see him when he was having a fit, he never let people see him slowly fading away. He wasn't sure what to say, he didn't know if there was something to say to something like that, he hadn't exactly had the most social of lives, even while in the village. So he stared, what else could he do? None of the proper etiquette rules that flashed through his head sounded like the right thing to say, no not in this situation. This was a, dare he think it, moderately intimate situation with the pink haired kunoichi from his village, from his home. She had been the one to save his brother, he owed her a real response, he owed her more than that; he owed her her freedom. He blinked calmly, when she finally spoke again, their staring match must have bored her, she usually didn't lose interest, perhaps, perhaps he had been wrong. Perhaps she was ill herself.

"I know... well... I created a jutsu, it's been tested and proven at least sixty two times with no failures, to work. So you would not be a test subject, you would be added to that list of success for sure." She was giving in, she was going to heal him. Why would she do that, why would she want to do that? How did she know that's what he wanted? "I will perform this jutsu on you, but it will take two weeks to recover from. You will need to be somewhere safe in a room that has a consistent temperature of at a minimum seventy two degrees, and it will be painful. I can't imagine it would hurt any more than the pain you are already suffering from, but I cannot be for sure. It will completely rebuild your lungs, completely, and it will completely mend the damage done to your eyes, it is not capable of rebuilding eyes, the DNA is too intricate, but we can mend them."

He watched her, she was weak. She had not been brought food or water, she had not been allowed a chance for proper rest, but yet she functioned, she managed. They had not denied her access to her chakra but that was low. That was the sacrifice. She would not mention it, but he was wise enough to evaluate someone before they do something as stupid as rebuild two organs in a body. She was willing to kill herself, to save him. Just as she had saved his little brother. "No."

She watched him, the denial was unexpected but she did not allow him to see that. The surprise would ebb away eventually, "Is there a reason you are denying complete healing?"

"You will not sacrifice your life for me. If you wish to do this jutsu after your strength has been returned, then we shall discuss it." He stood up, gripping a key from his pocket and maneuvering around the table, "You will come with me, Haruno-san. There is no need to keep you restrained in this cell any longer."

Unlocking the restraint from her ankle had been the easy part, but watching her attempt (and utterly fail) at standing had been a bit painful. She had been there five days, and he had never seen her move from that position. She hadn't slept at all, perhaps she had known all along why she had been brought there and had been thinking about it. Debating what she should do, but at the same time, he had the feeling that that was not it all. That she was merely just sitting there, unsure how to react because; as she had stated, she felt free. She didn't understand it, that had probably been what kept her up every day, every night, sitting at the stone table, waiting for him to come for their daily staring match. He picked her up, carrying her bridal style out of the cold, damp dungeon, for the first time, realizing just how feverish she was.

She didn't question it, she didn't fight him, she just allowed him to carry her off to who knew where. She didn't really have the will to fight even if she wanted to and she didn't want to. It was odd, for her entire life she was a fiercely loyal kunoichi of the leaf, but now, after five days of meditation and realization, she understood, she understood everything she should have seen from the beginning. They were just using her. They didn't actually care anything for her. She was just cry baby Sakura Haruno, the one everyone scorns, even her dearest "friends". She wasn't sure how she managed to push all of that out of her mind for five years, but things had happened that way, and now, now she was literally in the arms of the enemy and she... she didn't care. She felt _better_ where she was.

"We will work on rebuilding your strength." That was all he said.


	2. Chapter 1

_Two Months Prior_

"Neji-san, can I help you?" The young woman had opened her door expecting to see someone she was closer with, a nurse at the hospital calling her for an emergency or something. Not the stoic Hyuga genius who really had had nothing to do with her the entire time they had known each other. Seeing the black haired male on her doorstep was rather unsettling, his ivory eyes seemingly bore into her as she stood there, in nothing but an over large t-shirt that thankfully fell to her mid thigh to cover her panties.

He stood there in silence for at least two minutes as he watched the pink haired female stand in her doorway watching him. Her lips parted ever so slightly as curiosity was inscripted all across her face, her emerald eyes wide as she watched him, her pale skin seemingly glowing in the light of the full moon. Her waist length hair was tied up in an elegant (but slightly messy) bun and the soft breeze blew her bangs about her. Her lack of attire didn't affect him, but he was certain she should have been feeling some sort of discomfort at standing in her doorway, waiting for him to speak to her rather than just stare. The baggy, large black t-shirt was quite flattering on her though, made her look small and frail and her innocent facial expression didn't help... he shook his head a bit.

"Haruno-san, may I come in?"

Okay, now she was really confused but she stepped to the side, opening the door up wider by default and letting him in, "By all means." She closed the door after he was in her home, sandals sliding off into the neat row of her own that she had. "The living room is to the right, would you care for some tea? I have some fresh sencha brewing right now, but if you would prefer something else I can easily make it." She hadn't expected to be entertaining visitors at ten at night but she supposed it was inevitable, shinobi were weird like that, and now that he was in her home, she was more than just confused. She would have understood if it was some sort of summons, even if sending the ANBU captain as a messenger for a summons would have been a tad overdone, she would have understood that.

"Yes, please, sencha will be fine. Thank you, Haruno-san."

She walked further down the entryway hallway before take a left to the kitchen while he went and sat on the couch, he wasn't sure what to think about the Haruno. Somehow, as he looked around her living, he expected her apartment to be more... feminine. Instead it was calming and almost, cold and detached. He had expected more lively colors, rather than the dark cocoa brown of the living room, paired unbelievably with black trim. He had expected pinks and greens and unbelievable colors, but the only pink in the room was of the one picture of her team on the mantle of her fireplace surrounded by fresh flowers... it was a memorial to all three of her fallen teammates he assumed. Other than that one section there was no decor, the couch was a bland light brown, the carpet was a simple maroon and there was a mahogany stained, glass coffee table. Sparse. As if she didn't want to live there. Of course, the entire back wall (the largest wall) was completely covered in overfilled bookshelves, but that didn't count as decor it just expressed her love for reading. A hobby he approved of.

Then she was in the doorway a small platter of very fine china and a steaming tea pot that was emitting the most delicious scent of Japanese Sencha he still saw very little personality in her belongings. Never mind the fact that the way she held the tray on one hand lifted the shirt on one side enough to see almost the full expanse of outer thigh on the woman. The porcelain was beautiful, but it was old, probably an heirloom from her parents. The details were done in black with simple white leaves detailed onto it, and that was all. It shimmered in the lighting of the overhead lamp, clearly well cared for and tended to, but that was all. She carefully set the set onto the coffee table, pouring some tea into the cups before handing him one, "Would you care for some sugar or honey?"

She herself drank it straight, but proper etiquette required her to offer, proper etiquette required her to be receiving guests in proper dress as well, but oh well. She sat down after he shook his head, the center cushion of the couch separating them as she leaned forward to pick up her tea cup, "Now then, Neji-san, how may I help you?" She knew this was no social visit, after all, she had Neji had very little interaction with each other, they were comrades and had very little communication between each other for everything but Konoha 11 and even that had been rather slim.

Neji was silent for a moment, more like another two minutes, as he savored the delicious tea, he put in his mind to learn just how she made it because it tasted so much sweeter than when he or anyone else he knew made it. The flavor was powerful but overwhelming and created a serene feeling in him. After he had had enough of his tea revelations the soft sound of cup being sat down on tea platter indicated Sakura to do so as well as she gently set the delicate wares on the coffee table, ankles crossed and hands in her lap (perhaps holding the hem of her shirt down?). She shifted to look at him better just as he shifted to look at her, she had a bad feeling in her gut now that they were down to business.

He pulled a scroll out of his sleeve (cheeky bastard, she didn't see that one coming) and handed it to her, she tilted her head curious, lips partially parted as hair fell into her face as she gave it a curious look, gently reaching out a pale, slender hand to grip it. He nodded and let her have it. She inspected it closely, there was a genjutsu placed over it as well as another jutsu she couldn't name, and the chakra she felt rolling off of it when it was in her hand was nauseating. "Neji-san?"

Her confusion was evident as she looked at the scroll, twisted it to look at the seal, she didn't recognize it. It was... what was it? It wasn't healthy whatever it was. She traced her finger over it, gently pressing some chakra against it, she wasn't sure what to make of it. "We need your help." She could see why, after touching the scroll with her chakra she could detect seven different jutsu's locked on the scroll, all of them unknown. "This scroll, it is-"

"Dangerous." Her mind reeled as books flashed through her brain, she stood up promptly, scroll in hand moving towards the center bookshelf, reaching up on her tip toes and extending her arms upwards to reach for the book she wanted, accidentally flashing her guest with her black panties but he could get over it. She carefully grabbed the large book and brought it down, kneeling on the opposite side of the table and setting it down, "It has traces of demonic chakra and has been sealed with seven unknown jutsu as well as a high powered genjutsu that I don't know if I can break."

He watched her, oddly surprised but making sure nothing showed on his face, it would do him no good to reveal that emotion, she flipped open the book a little over halfway through and flipped through about ten pages before she found the one she wanted. "What are you thinking?"

"This is most likely the summoning scroll of a demon. The seal is of a kitsune, it would not be as extravagent of the nine tailed fox demon that attacked us so many years ago, no, it was be more average in size, probably at the largest a little taller than you at breast height."

"How do you know this?"

"Why did you come to me with this scroll?"

He watched her, she was not of ANBU rank but merely because she didn't have the desire to take the tests, she was already informally an ANBU member. She had access to hokage level documents that even ANBU couldn't even use, "You are the best, you were the only option."

She studied the scroll in admiration, pressing against the seal with more chakra as her emerald eyes grew distant in her though and inspection fo the scroll, she could touch the demons chakra with her own, she could meld with it, she could crack the code. But it would be dangerous, it would be so very dangerous, "What do you want me to do with this?"

"I need it opened. I need the demon summoned; and quite possibly resealed if they do not wish to align with us. Everything we can do, to gain a foot hold in the war that is coming."

She studied the exterior of the scroll, the genjutsu was basic, so basic that all it did was mask the fact that there were further traps, so someone would simply dispell the genjutsu and try to open it, it would have killed them, it would have fed the demon their souls. "It, in theory, can be done."

"In theory?"

She remained quiet as she sought the chakra signature again, it was free flowing she could easily manipulate it. She set it down on the book, releasing a soft sigh as she withdrew her chakra from the scroll, detaching from the demonic chakra and growing all the colder, "I say in theory, because I am able to meld with the demonic chakra and I will, theoratically, be able to commune with the demon, find out who she is and what is required to break the seven jutsu's. If she gives me the wrong information or I make the slightest mistake on the jutsu, it could kill or, I could simply obsorb the demon into myself, and _I _would become just another container; or perhaps, if she is strong enough, I would become the demon."

He nodded in understanding, "You have never worked with something so powerful, are you up for the task?"

"Neji-san, I am always up for a good challenge. I will need a small team of people."

"You may have whomever you choose, so long as they swear to silence the information on this project."

She nodded calmly, "But of course. I will not mess with this until tomorrow evening. I will have a list to the ANBU headquarters tomorrow morning of the people I wish to recruit, a response may be sent to me at the hospital. I will personally recruit them after my hospital shift to begin work immediately, will this be acceptable?"

"You are efficient Haruno-san. I apologize for bothering you at such an hour, thank you for the tea."

"It is no problem Neji-san, it will be an honor to work for you."

She stood back up, she would see him out, after all, that was proper etiquette, but she offered him no more words and he none for her, their exchange was over, the rest would be dealt with in messages that no one else would partake in. Why the hell would they want a demon on their side? She sighed as she closed her door and bolted it, casting a genjutsu over it. Not that it mattered but she was currently the best genjutsu master in the city. Bed, bed would be nice, she had a long day ahead of her.

"But I just can't shake off this bad feeling..."


	3. Chapter 2

_I beg for your forgiveness, this chapter is rushed and absolutley 186% horrid. I cannot write fighting scenes so I try to avoid them but I needed some confrontation to lead up to the very first thing you read. I bow repetitively and plead forgiveness for the utter failure that this chapter is (more so than usual). I've been reading all sorts of fight scenes to try to get ideas but it's so far, blown up in my face, horribly. Over time I will get better no? I predict a good many fighting scenes in the future; oh and if you haven't been able to tell, I haven't quite figured out where I'm going with this story, please forgive me, please, please, please! _

_As __AwaitTheRise__ has pointed out this story thus far is horribly terribly confusing because I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. I admit this full force, obviously, if you can't tell from the opening, this is an Ita/Saku fanfiction, but I started out at the wrong point and am rushing the build up to get to where it needs to be and... I'm rambling. I'm sorry, please forgive me, please bare with me until I figure out what the heck I'm doing with this story? ^.^;;;;_

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><p>She had felt their chakra signatures before they could mask them, morons, breaking into a village without masking one's signature was deadly, especially when they were standing outside of <em>her<em> house and appeared to be attempting to dispel her genjutsu's. She almost laughed at the fumbling and moderately loud curses she was hearing outside of her door but she quickly moved to put on some decent (battle worthy) clothing and grab her weapons. She couldn't quite place who the signatures belonged to but they were familiar and not of Konoha, it made her hackles rise slightly as she stood at the end of the hallway, in the pitch black linen closet, waiting for them to come in. She was out of view of the door and her chakra completely masked, a clone hiding in the bathroom, waiting for the signal to sneak out when it was probably safe and get help.

It only took a minute for them to fumble with the door look before creeping it open. "Why did that take so long, yeah?"

"Shut up."

"Who are you to tell me to shut up, yeah?"

She had to roll her eyes, great, they hadn't even gotten close to getting what they needed and they were fighting amongst themselves. She took the opportunity to peek out from around the corner, Akatsuki. She inhaled sharply and pressed her back against the wall, what the hell did they want with her? "If you don't be quiet, Deidara, they'll know we are here! We need to get that scroll back."

They didn't want _her_ they wanted the _scroll_, did that pompous asshole really just walk into her house after retrieving a scroll that the Akatsuki wanted, ditch it in her custody and then not tell her that, oh, she wasn't too sure but it might have been something along the lines of, 'Sakura-san, the Akatsuki are also trying to acquire this scroll, be careful.' But no, not a single word of it. She felt her pulse pick up as panic set in, she was in trouble now, because even she had to admit that being able to physically feel their chakras now, that their chakra's were actually quite well masked, her chakra affinity just allowed her to be more sensitive to them. She cursed in her head, she couldn't take on multiple Akatsuki, one had been insanely hard. The scroll, it was in her closet, they hadn't gotten to the bedroom yet, the clone could get it and book it to somewhere safe.

"I don't know what scroll you're talking about, Akatsuki, but you will not find it here."

She spoke, her voice low, her chakra masked, the two looked around everywhere. "You shouldn't sound so sure of yourself girl. Save us some time, hand it over and we won't tear apart your darling house."

The voice was deep, it wasn't the blonde's, she hadn't gotten a good look at the second person, he had been completely covered, still wearing his straw hat but he had been tall, way tall. She released a breath and walked out of the linen closet, a cocky smirk on her face as she did her best to calm her nerves. "I am no 'girl', Akatsuki. I am a kunoichi, one of the best. You've walked into the wrong home."

The tall wall laughed, a boyant laugh, it made her flinch with how it filled up the small space, "You cannot take on two of us girl."

"No one said I would. I said I was _one_ of the best. Not _thee_ best. Now, if you could please get out of my home so I can go back to sleep, it would be much appreciated. I work at four in the morning you see, and I would like to get some proper rest." She looked at the senbon between her fingers, "Or I could escort you out, but it won't be pretty and would end in the destruction of my home either way, make your decision if you would please."

"Hey Kisame, un. Isn't that, un, the kunoichi that killed Sasori?" The blonde spoke for the first time since she came out of the closet, a sadistic smirk slowly sliding onto his face, a crazed look in his eye. "Hey, yeah, she is her, yeah?"

She twitched, Kisame Hoshigaki? In her home? Oh hell no. She didn't see his sword though. She tensed up, she wasn't going to face the man who wielded a chakra eating sword, that's only make him more powerful, she couldn't do it on her on. She brought a hand up to her face, _"Ki." _She ducked into her bedroom only a second before the explosives in the hallway went off, she had never thought she would have used them, she was now significantly grateful for Kakashi making her put them up so long ago.

"Holy shit, un!"

"Damn it Deidara!"

She heard their shouts as she bolted into her closet, the loud noises of the explosion ringing throughout her house and Konoha, the entire building shook with strain from the force of the fifty tags going off, no doubt toppling the entire front end of her one story home, but there wasn't much else she could do. Her hand gripped the scroll and she bolted out of her closet, sirens ringing throughout Konoha that she could barely hear. Smoke was billowing into her room, she had to get out, but the Akatsuki had been easily able to duck out the door and were, no doubt waiting for her to emerge with the scroll. She didn't have a choice, she grabbed her pack and kicked down the wall, jumping through the hole she had created breathing heavily and coughing. "Damn it!"

"Told you, un! Told you she'd go through the wall, yeah?" The blonde cheered and she glowered at him, not wasting time, the chakra bombs he made were capable of flying. She kicked up off of the ground and onto her neighbors house, she would be safer on the rooftops, that's the way ANBU would be taking to come there.

"She has the scroll Deidara, get her!"

The blue skinned man swung a kick at her that sent her flying into the conjoined building to the one she was on. She dropped to the floor easily, "How the fuck did you, un, kill Sasori, yeah?" The blonde, she couldn't see him but she saw one of his birds and her eyes widened, quickly getting to her knees and jumping away as it exploded, she missed the worst of it but that blast power still sent her flying an extra distance that she was thankfully able to land skidding. She tucked the scroll in her pack she couldn't resist dropping it. She could see her house on fire behind them and she cursed silently but couldn't bring herself to care. Her hand flickered through hands seals quickly, _"Earth Release-"_ Another kick sent her flying this time off of the rooftops and into a nearby tree, she really was too exhausted for this fight.

She released a breath as she dragged herself up from the ground, not understanding what was taking the ANBU so long to reach her, but she could handle this. She inhaled sharply through her nose, this was something she could do. As soon as her opponents joined her on the ground she just grinned at them in a cocky manner again, they were on her turf. "Hand of the scroll half pint and we won't hurt you."

"Yes we will, un! I want her head, yeah!"

She grinned a bit wider as she panted, getting the crap kicked out of her was taking a toll on her, she was certain more than a few ribs had been broken from those two kicks alone. "My head is staying where it's at, I fear." She threw a punch into the ground, immediately the area surrounding them erupted into a dusty explosion of ground, dust filling the air while her opponents were shaken. She still hadn't seen the blue skinned man's sword, so she figured, for now, it was safe to charge and she did. She ran forward at full speed, chakra masked and not a sound made as she hopped between shifting and flying boulders of earth that she had shattered, sending chakra to her foot to land a direct kick to the blondes chest, immediately flipping out of the way. That was not who she had aimed for! She looked around, she could hardly see anything through the dust.

But then the voices reached her ear, "Shit Deidara! Scram! ANBU!"

There was no sound from the blonde shinobi but she could still feel his chakra signature, she frowned, the mist nin's signature moved away and then disappeared was he really going to abandon his comrade? Figures, stupid S-Ranked shinobi didn't know anything about camaraderie and teamwork. Of course, caring about the team was supposed to come after the mission which came before ones own life.

"Haruno-san!"

She felt the gust of a wind pull at her, they were clearing the dust from the area and as soon as it was gone she could see the blonde, blood seeping from his mouth. She approached him, logic stated she should kill him, but as she picked him up by the front of his cloak she sighed, no, she would spare him and hand him over to Ibiki... was that really spareing? Not really, but it would have to do. She felt a hand rest of her shoulder.

"You took him down, good job."

She snort and turned to the ANBU, "It was by pure luck, unfortunately. I was going for Hoshigaki and with all the dust I guess I got disoriented."

"Hoshigaki was here?"

"Yes."

"Did he get the scroll?"

She shook her head, messed up pink locks flying into her face as she sighed and looked around at the damage, that was going to take more than she could afford to fix. Unless of course she could sweet talk some of the more jutsu readied nin to fix it for her, but that would probably cost her even more. No one in their village did anything for anything but money. She sighed again and handed the unconscious nin to the ANBU. "Get him out of my sight, would you?"

No sooner was he out of her hands, was she in someone else's. She was roughly turned to face the shinobi, she blinked blandly. "Sakura!"

Had she never heard the voice of concern come from one Neji Hyuga before then? She was almost certain she had never heard it. After all, he looked so frantic. He himself looked ruffled, as if the only thing he had been able to do was pull on clothes and run, even his head band was gone, replaced instead with the white wrapping that she had seen on his forehead only when his head band fell during battle. She looked up at the taller male, clearly winded as she blinked. "Neji-san."

"Are you alright?"

Of course she was alright, she had been kicked around twice, sent herself through a huge explosion, been put through a huge explosion and was hurting really bad. But she was fine she was fine, "I am fine. Of course."

Perhaps it was the way she was holding herself without realizing it, but he brought a hand to the side of her chest, underneath her armpit, putting almost no pressure behind it he listened to her gasp, "Heal. Or the Hyuga medics will do it for you."

The pink haired kunoichi swatted away his hand, she was fine enough for now, she didn't puncture a lung, "You, Neji-san," she remembered why she was supposed to be angry at him, "never fucking told me that the _Akatsuki _were after my little puzzle."

"It seemed like a little matter-"

"A little matter doesn't blow up someone's else and then proceed to burn down the rest of it, a little matter doesn't cause," she paused and put a glowing green hand over her ribs, "six broken ribs, a little matter doesn't destroy a now, homeless kunoichi's night, and before you ask about the bloody fucking scroll I have it, it's safe. No thanks to- _what the hell are you doing? Put me down this instant." _

She was being cradled to the chest of one Neji Hyuga as he picked her up bridal style and jumped to the rooftops, heading for his compound. "You would not heal yourself in a timely manner so the Hyuga medics will look at you."

"I am perfectly capable of breaking my bones and rehealing myself should it come to that, but since it won't you can put me down and I will go... somewhere."

"Where?"

"I don't know, you're marvelous little scroll burned down my house... how the fuck did they know where to find it anyways?" She felt nauseated suddenly, as if the slowing of her pulse as they traveled between rooms made it harder for her to breathe, she gasped out suddenly, coughing on blood, when had her lung punctured? Or had it been ruptured with the kicks? How hadn't she noticed? No, it had probably been punctured when he picked her up so suddenly, how hadn't she felt it? The questions didn't have any time to be answered further as her vision went black.


End file.
